Swami's

..."self-realization center"





if you ever get a chance, definitely go there/here/whatever. it's one of the infinite things worth visiting/doing in san diego. the meditation garden will blow your mind.

that is all.

Happy Holidays, San Diego

i heard this on the radio this morning and i thought of this blog. now, let's go do them (together)! :]

Top 10 Holiday Things to Do in San Diego:

10. Drink something different: No more vodka tonics, no draft beers…try a spiked egg nog at the Four Seasons, the Christmas ale at a bar, or even a peppermint something from Starbucks. This is the time to drink the frilly drinks!

9. Watch the Holiday Bowl balloon parade from afar – Drinks on the deck at Mister A’s or cheap beers (and binoculars) at Shakespeares are perfect perches.

8. Walk on the beach with an egg nog ice cream, because it’s San Diego and we can. Then call your friends elsewhere and brag : )

7. Watch or listen to some kind of Christmas show: The Grinch at the Old Globe, Lambs’ Players in Coronado, It’s a Wonderful Life in Normal heights

6. Send someone a card – even if you don’t do Christmas cards, or even Christmas at all, send someone a card. Try India Ink for really cool ones.

5. Eat Sweets: Heaven Sent Desserts actually has a great holiday happy hour between 3-
6…get a slice of something yummy from the dessert case and a coffee/tea for just $6! Or I think you can even bring a friend and it’s only $10 for the two of you.

4. Watch the boat parade of lights through the bay (two dates: Dec 9th and Dec 17th)

3. Donate toys to get AJ off the crane during the annual AJ’s Kids Crane that starts TOMORROW!

2. Visit the Hotel Del – I don’t care if you eat there, have a drink there, stay there or just walk through the lobby…you must go see it at Christmas time.

1. Ice skate under the palm trees at Horton Plaza…then pop into Dobson’s for a night cap.

Holding on

Soon things will get easier.
(&more fun)

Hang in there;
I BELIEVE IN US.

Good Morning, SD.

... so it's been a while since an actual post about SD. I thought it proper to put one up since today is a nice day, one that exemplifies what SD is to me.

I woke up later than wanted, but only to wake up to something spectacular. Groggy, dishevelled, with no train of thought I walk out to the balcony and as the view through my eyes became more and more focused... there it was. An ocean view, a brisk winter wind, paraglyders gliding, birds just flying by, and a light swaying of trees that frame the infinite ocean in the distance. Hmm then I headed back inside, turned on my itunes (on shuffle of course) and anticipated what song would turn up. Fittingly enough "I'm a Terrible Person" by Rooney played... no, just kidding. I don't know what to think of this. Hilarious? Yeah, there's subtle humor there.


-P.S. "... it's gonna be a bad day come Sunday." (Rooney)

Rebel

... what if all we did was sit, sip on little purple straws from coffee bean and tea leaf, and watch life as it happens? on a balcony, through a bistro window perhaps? thinking with no agenda, care-free, aloof, unmotivated, distant, an imperfect, immobile entity. now that would be the epitome of understated rebellion.

p.s.

elma, you win. i've given in... i'm on gtalk as i type this -_-. shame, shame. haha
but i still do like my oovoo ^_^

Sorry Jenny

but I beg to differ.
GTalk is the place to be.

Everyone use GTalk from Google.
Soon Google will take over your life as it has mine. :)

(GoogleScholar, Gmail, GTalk, Picasa, Calendar, GoogleWorld, SketchUp...)

Talk to me: elmajoy@gmail.com

OOVOO

... shameless advertising for the day.

everyone should ditch AIM and get OOVOO. it's seriously so much better. go to the website and take the tour.


www.oovoo.com

sorry, not available for MACs just yet =/.

anyway, if you claim to be my friend you'll IM me through oovoo w/ a mysterious sn soon enough.^_^

Something Profound.

Have you ever thought about the most complicated conflicts around you?

Well, sit back for a moment. Don't you see the solution yet? I know you do. Simple, isn't it? Then, what's so hard about solving world hunger, ending holy wars and wars of all sorts?

Hubris.

If you could give up everything you had to make all the bad things go away, would you do it? I mean everything. No, death is not an option; that means you just get the easy way out. You have to live with nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So would you do it?

It's easy to say yes; words are fickle, fragile, insincere.

Think about it.

END WORLD HUNGER! (and get a perfect SAT vocabulary score)

"what if just knowing what a word meant could help feed hungry people around the world? well at FreeRice, it does... the totals have grown exponentially."

                         - the Washington Post

sounds confusing? well, it isn't. 

The FreeRice campaign aims to end world hunger one word at a time. By playing the vocabulary game on the website, you will be able to directly help in solving world hunger and, subsequently, world poverty. For each word you get right, FreeRice donates 10 grains of rice through the United Nations. So far in the last month or so of the website's existence, about 2,098,280,280 grains of rice have been donated.

there's absolutely no catches - except maybe the fact that you will be able to help feed an entire family with just few clicks of your button.

 

Celebration

Happy 18th Vladimir!

One of my favorite people in this world.
I know he is capable of greatness
because as he fights for whats right even if the world is against him.
Rainy days, photography, &music make him happy.
He listens &is a great friend.
He makes me happy.

Together we will reach the highest highs &rise up from our lowest lows.
Thank you for being you Vladimir.

With Love,
Elma

CROSSING BORDERS

( i know i'm about a week late but since school has been screwing me over, i'll say it's justifiable)

last saturday was one of the most exciting and scary event of 2007. after complaining about being "stuck in san diego" ever since college started, i'm glad to say i am now perfectly content with where i am for the moment.

so today consisted of driving all the way to the end of our border, missing the big yellow "LAST USA EXIT" (which i'm sure only us three would miss. ever.), and ending up lost in tijuana, mexico. we were lost for about two hours, heading deep into the heart of TJ and still managing to take infinite pictures.

while waiting at the border (after finally finding it), we discussed globalization and poverty and being grateful for the life we have because, the fact is, we're so much more luckier than most. we talked about how different life is in these two places, no matter how close they are to each other and how invisible borders define cultures and people.

so my first time in TJ didn't end with me passing out drunk in some dim club surrounded by people i don't even know but rather ended with me gaining a newfound appreciation of my life.

Magnitudes

It's happened again...

Today was a day full of concidences. Perhaps it wasn't just a "it happened again" thing, maybe it was just another day; the other days I simply failed to notice. Let's begin with what I think is really the conclusion to these series of events. Finding out that something you have created and once thought was organic really isn't anymore to me most of the time is the end of the world. I know, full of myself, even pathetic to an extent. But today, the simplicity and the magnitude of today has changed things. It has solidified the notion that we are all connected. Like it or not, good or bad, tangible or not, inevitable or not, etc. etc.

For the longest time there was an oddity and a sense of uniqueness to my AIM sn. A Roaming Badger. Not typically common. But why now? Why did I meet someone else who has something similar to mine? A Floating Cow. It yells out magnitude loud and clear. What is this person's connection to me? I often see this person in the most routine places... bus stop, food places, or just about. Then again, what is anyone's connection to me? Why is it that the less we long for a connection the greater the magnitude of a random encounter is? Is this how the meaning of existence arises?

Borders

Donde esta America?

Where to begin? Perhaps the fact that three of the most directional challenged people have proven all expectations of themselves; who misses the sign LAST USA EXIT in bold, yellow writing? Indefinitely, we do. We know who “we” is. Let’s not elaborate.


Driving through the foreign streets of Mexico, ascending into time traveling, and people watching I vaguely begin to realize what makes borders in the first place. It’s not simple geography that defines limits; it’s all that’s in our heads that defines limitations. How is a city less than ten minutes away but also be a world away? What makes a border? Why do they exist?
Has humanity lost all compassion? Maybe we just haven’t been honest with ourselves. Hypocrisy is real, more real than our existence. Right beside me is a world that should have been unfathomable to imagine, but my beginnings have prevented that. For that much I am grateful. But why stop there? Isn’t there something more I can do? For now, I’ll say no there isn’t. Questions can only be answered by more questions at this point. Though, from what I know this world we live in is nothing more but simplicity in the most complex form.
Let’s talk about where things are for a moment. Where does America end and Mexico begin, and vice versa. Same with other countries. We have become so inter-reliant that distinction doesn’t really matter. Or at least for me it’s become obsolete.
Sometimes accidental coincidences matter more in one’s recipe of life than planned, expected happenings. That is what I have learned from yesterday. Sitting in the back of a Prius accelerating at 80 miles per hour, half lost half justified.



To be continued... I think.

(time) travelers

hello hello.

it is i, elma joy
here to blog all about the happenings of my life in sd.

silence is not golden

for the past weeks i have lost my voice. mute, silent, listening.
i tend to lose my voice like that every once &a while but this time was the worst.
this is because of all the fires going on.
i couldnt say - anything.
i couldnt really answer my phone, call people to ask them how they were &i couldnt tell people that i was okay.
turns out my family in chula vista was getting ready to evacuate.
&all this time i couldnt do anything - sitting pretty, breathing bad air in la jolla.

tough

but the fires are over (thank God)
&as much as id like to put it all behind,
i think we should all reflect of the effect of the fires on all of us in sd, the oc, &everywhere else that was affected by the fires.
most of all,
its time to be resilient.

photography
art reflects life


the "matte film" polaroid series
essence caught on film

photoblog.
"from mexican food to mexico"

saturday, november 3, 2007

reunited once again. eljemir!
after a seemingly long break of maybe two weeks,
the stuckinsd-ers reunited in chula vista to drown midterm/homework sorrows
in good food, good company, and some present shopping.
first, we ate mexican food at vlad's favorite place.
thanks to vlad &jenny i looked like a heffer
because they shared a carne asada fries
while it looked like i had one to myself. >_<

the u.s. border AKA the thin line between chula juana &tijuana
heading off south (way south) to the las americas outlets
our plans were thrown out the window.
not heeding freeway signs but our poor directional intuition
we successfully &acidentally crossed the border into tj!
after much screaming, failed phone calls, &hyperventilation
with minimal pedestrian anger &honking.
i managed to drive my prius sucessfully through the city
&back to the freeway to our sorely missed "u-s-of-a"

patience is the essence of crossing the border
over the course of our hour &a half wait Eljemir talked.
we talked politics, school, life stories, music, romance, fiction...
&we took pictures of a world that was so close in proximity to our own
but so different.

its amazing how national borders are
made by man.
we are separate and definately not equal.
is equality even possible?

coming back
to the story.
we crossed back into the u.s. only after meeting a mean border patrol man.
"mercado" - we have a score to settle with you.
jenny got back with a ucsd id card &vlad with his drivers license.
but mercado was mean about them being born in PI &not here.
anywho. we were just glad to be back
&the first thing we wanted to do was
go north to celebrate! :]

the night is young &so are we
when we pulled up to Jia's house we all called to use the bathroom.
we literally would of pissed our pants from excitement
but thankfully (for my car) we made it to a restroom.
(haha)
after waiting for Jenny to get over Jia's bathroom scale
that says that you weigh zero pounds
we headed to pick up Ace.

first stop, hillcrest to visit the "secret store" aka buffalo exchange &flashbacks.
after debating over the moustache selection Jia decides to resist. (joke)
but Jenny did end up with some pretty awesomely loud tights. :]

then off to downtown for cheesefries, lime-ade, &ice cream.
note: hanson played at the house of blues -hanson still exists.
can you say "mmbop!"?

its been a long day.
back in chula vista.
dropped by otay ranch towne center to check out the ORHS homecoming dance
which was held in the food court somehow.
&barnes &noble to peek at the new postsecret.
then eventually we all ended up in our respective
"home sweet homes"

THANKFULLY STUCK IN SD,
elma joy

First of Two Things...

Emotion. Indefinitely makes the world go round. A form of expression or an elaborate form of humanity's ultimate manipulation? Sometimes I regret, I feel useless for being so unaffected by my environment. I don't, I never cry, I can't. Then sometimes I stop to think about it, is some part of it just a way for us to get what we want in life? I mean it makes sense, we cry we get compassion. We laugh we get admiration. Does having a lack of emotion make me inhuman? Not because I don't feel, but the part where every dimension of my existence is supposed to contain a hint of destructive selfishness that will ultimately lead to my so-called fulfillment.


"Borders" will be posted tomorrow =)

munich

going through with my side project... starting an independent blog from this one.

jjsvergara.blogspot.com


-that is all.

november

november will be a good month. i'm trying this new thing called optimism.

-vladimir

Break.

I miss Eljemir.
Where are you guys now?

Anyway, it's only a matter of time till this school kills me. It's 3AM and I'm taking a break. I'm blogging because most everyone is sleeping and even if anyone was awake... what would I say? All this work is making me crazy. "Hi, I can't relate right now. I'm undergoing this notion of possible failure that I care much about and I find it to be inevitable."

"Partie de Campagne", The French Do It Best.

So, just a quickie before I head off to Film Discussion...

While everyone else was off heading to free-for-all Halloween parties at State and everywhere else at 6:30, I was blissfully abandoned in a half-empty colossal lecture hall left to the mercy of a French-speaking film professor. I sat there, anxious to get out, not wanting to be there for once. I twiddled my thumbs as I watched interesting characters... some unappreciative, some dressed in drag, and the few truly passionate. What came next was a pleasant surprise. A little film called "Partie de Campagne". Fourty minutes of beauty-defying collaborations of sound and picture, silence and chaos. In the end it taught me that "seeing is believing" is nothing but all sorts of false. Much like in classical films and in real life... as ridiculous as it may sound... hearing is believing. I think for the most part this is true. I think people have become reliant on sound, or music to be exact, to communicate all the undefinable things in life. Movies just like music share the same mission; to help us understand. Whether we intended to invent both music and film or just by accident we got lucky and discovered it... I think we need to set aside all things sometimes and not look for an answer for once.

If you ever get the chance, watch this film. It'll change the way you see things.

RE: San Diego Burning, San Diego Shrinking

san diego is not shrinking. naturally people's desire to move forward is. post high school syndrome consists of apathy leading to the concept of fearing failure thus leading to holding onto everything they can from the past that they know is right in hopes that they dont progress into an unsure future. at such an ambiguous uncertain stage in life people cling to what they know and feel comfortable with, instead of embracing the inevitable unfamiliar change... go astray. you can only be lost for so long until the anomalous becomes familiar, and you create a new comfort...... i too am a victim myself at times, but to a certain extent everyone is, its natural. the importance is awarness, the first step of realization. i may not know the answer. but i at least know there is an answer..."

response by Josh Wessling; guest writer.

San Diego Burning, San Diego Shrinking

So the fires have come and go. Or is it still going? I'm not sure at this point, but it sure is shrinking.

Lately I've been either running into or having some sort of contact with people I often don't think about anymore. People who have become acquaintances of the past... is it because SD is shrinking?

Fire &Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Robert Frost

Midterms

Sitting in Economics 1 Midterm Review half-paying attention...

Is it really the smart thing to do?

I feel as if I'm better off leaving this instant, locking myself up in that minute cubicle I've been calling "home", and studying via textbooks.

Yes?

I'm leaving right now.

i'm holding on

this is vladimir, for once.

i know, i know. but don't faint just yet.

life has been anything but amazing recently. i've been swamped in schoolwork & next week is an even worse week for me with four midterms & a big research paper due. i'm trying to survive college and hopefully come out sane by the end of it. right now though, it's not looking good.

but that's enough of my complaints about life.

i went out to the bookstore today with the intention of looking for the new postsecret book - A Lifetime of Secrets



i flipped through it, reading one every once in a while. i made sure to not read the whole thing in one sitting, however (i was definitely tempted though). i'll save the entire book when it's at home with me and i'm reading it over a cup of coffee. i'm sure i'll get it eventually but if anyone's looking to buy me a birthday present, i wouldn't object to this ;]

i religiously check postsecret.com every sunday & you should too. knowing that other people are in the same situation you are does make the world a less lonely place.

Daphne Loves Derby, Jenny Loves...

I don't know exactly what I love in life. I feel lost, I feel a sense of drifting.
I skipped my Making of the Modern World lecture for the first time today, which led me to the realization that I'm actually in charge of my life (despite any constraints in this world). It's the most powerful feeling, tragic yet beautifully refreshing in a way.

With that said...

What am I doing with my so-called freedom at this moment? Procrastinating.
10 seconds later though, "it" (whatever "it" may be) kicks in. Is it conscience? Or is it morality that can easily be interpreted as a complex form of self-indulgence derived from wanting to be selfishly productive and successful? Either way, I'm starting my homework at 1:30. Why? Because I'm human. I'll always have things to do.

Farts and Frats

So I'm joining a frat.

Co-ed Fraternity.

History behind it is, the Vietnam War came around and they had to invite girls in.

Dry humor set aside, I love what they're trying to accomplish. I never thougth I'd find a niche in something I was once so uninterested in. Laugh at me, go ahead. I've laughed several times tonight. haha.

3 hours and one boba hour later...

I come home to a very gaseous roommate who I won't name.

-such a short unthoughtful blog...

Artificial Intelligence can kiss my...

So yesterday Jenny &I went on a semi-unsuccessful quest. Our original intentions were to buy our Rilo Kiley tickets for Friday at the Soma box office but alas, my navigator took us to "Soma Galleries."

Change of plans
Then we go to plaza &I get the best deal on a peacoat for 45 cents! It was buy one get one half off so I got a pair of 7 jeans &the peacoat which ended up $20.45 - $20.00 rewards dollars = $0.45! Woohoo.

We had to celebrate with sushi &then ventured off to Sushi House where Jenny found her perfect sushi form - the hand roll.




&then off to surprise fellow SSD-er Vladimir who is experiencing emo sentiments usually inspired by too much homework, O-chem horror, and midterms.



It was a nice reunion.

Not to mention I parked impecabily for the first &only time ever!
THAT is something to celebrate.

Anyways, these are my fellow SSD-er's because you're probably not interested in any more of MY face.

You want need to know these people.

with love,
e

30 Minutes Walks and Weirdos

So I've officially dipped my feet in the big body of water that is college.

The first two days of class surprisingly enough, went ok. I wasn't so lost in lectures and I didn't make myself out to be the anti-social girl who sat in the back pre-occupied with pretending to take notes on her laptop and checking facebook. (wow, seriously run-on sentence) I hate the fact that getting to class requires massive biped labor... fuckyou thirty-minute walks!

au contraire

re: jenny's previous blog

upon recently attending UCSD's Sixth College orientation. i have a newfound feeling of life &excitement. odd? over the course of a few days i have met many people both open &closed to "social interaction."

as anticipated i have met many collegiate stereotypes such as the: "i love to party guy" in addition to the "i cant talk to girls guy" &so it would seem we have the spectrum of personalities covered &its just a matter of finding the people you click &not "clique" with.

because, if you haven't learned from high school
cliques are no good.

be open. &if you see me around.
say hi. seriously.

over &out,
E

Long Awaited... Dullness.

I'm here. Finally here.

3:54; stuck in my dorm room with nothing to do. My roommates arrived later than I did so they are out with their families doing whatever I was just doing an hour ago. The space is a tad bigger than I expected; well, at least it's not crowded. The weather? Typical; I've lived here almost my whole life. The food? Average. Setting? Typical as well, the epitome of laid-back that is SD. The people? Oh, don't get me started.

Perhaps it's my "cold-hearted" nature that I can't seem to connect to others easily. No, most likely it's the fact that I am critical about everything. From the garnish on my plate to that giant elephant in the room. But, no. It's not that. Not it at all. My first thought? "Wow. I feel out of place. Did I just out-do someone on the 'nice and sweet' department?"

... Maybe things will be better.

Life is a succession of moments.

To live each one is to succeed.

we live our lives day by day sometimes forgetting to take a step back to see the big picture. yes, things are not &have never been perfect; but i'd like to take this time to take that step &bask in the beauty of our apparent breakdowns &letdowns to re-realize --

everything happens for a reason.

a reason unknown at present but to be certainly revealed to us when the time is right.

it will be alright.

--

to occupy time i will be attending the following SD shows

SOMA
October 12
Rilo Kiley
The Bird and the Bee
Grand Ole Party
Mainstage
$22.00
7:00 PM

November 11th
The Starting Line
Paramore
$19 6:15 PM


House of Blues
THE RENTALS & COPELAND W/ GOLDENBOY
price : $17.50 - $20.00 *
date : Thu, September 20
door : 7:00pm
show : 8:00pm
age : all

Metric w/ Crystal Castles
price : $12.50 - $14.50 *
date : Wed, October 03
door : 7:00pm
show : 8:00pm
age : all

Stars
price : $15.00 *
date : Fri, November 09
door : 7:00pm
show : 8:00pm
age : all

care to join? get at me ;]

Woe Is Me; The Declining Economy

"University of California Students and Parents
April 2007
Page 2

I know this increase comes at a time when many of you are grappling with growing pressures on your family budgets. At the same time, however, when we enroll students at the University of California, we commit to providing them with an education of the highest quality. The Regents and I believe that these fee increases are necessary to sustain the outstanding teaching and research programs our students expect and to ensure that all students continue to have access to the classes they need to graduate on time.

The fee increases also will help the University provide initial funding for one of its highest priorities: the enchantment of student mental health services. Universities nationwide are seeing a serious and growing need to provide more mental health services for students, and our Regents wanted to ensure we act promptly. Therefore, UC will set aside $22 per student from the Registration Fee increase resulting in approximately $4.6 million to fund initial enchantments to mental health services.

Keep in mind, too, that financial aid will increase along with fees. For undergraduates, the Governor has proposed a $16 million increase in Cal Grant awards to offset the mandatory systemwide fee incrase for UC Cal Grant recipients. In addition, the University will dedicate 33 percent of new fee revenue to additional UC undergraduate financial aid. As a result, UC will generally be able to provide grants to cover 100 percent of the fee increase for on-time financial aid applicants whose families earn less than $60,000. Other financially needy undergraduates from families with incomes up to $100, 000 would receive a UC grant covering half of the fee increase. For graduate students, 45 percent of new fee revenue will be earmarked to help offset the impact of higher fees.

I know fee increases are never welcome. Given the ongoing fiscal challenges for the State of California, our planning framework with the Governor over the last several years has sought, at the very least, to make these increases moderate and more predictable than in the past, so our families are better equipped to plan.

Thank you for your understanding and for your support of our efforts to protect the quality of the UC student educational experience.

Sincerely,
Robert C. Dynes"

Anecdote time: Last summer I was fortunate enough to attend a conference in the cornfields of Indiana. No, the rural country setting wasn't the most shocking to me. In fact, it was the perception of what most everyone there held of me; that I was a rich spoiled kid from San Diego, CA... "You live in San Diego? You must be filthy rich!". hahaha no! Doesn't anyone know? Only the socioeconomically established and military enlisted are prosperous here. Despite having the #1 GDP in the United States and 13th in the world... most everyone in California is broke. From high gas prices to mortgages that surpass even the GDP of most third world countries... Honestly, why would anyone wanna live here?

Yes, that's a rhetorical question.

long essay

on long distance

"The long-distance relationship is, by definition, doomed. The only way a long-distance relationship can amount to anything is for it to become a short-distance relationship. Distance may be fine for relatives and old friends, but when it comes to romantic love- that mysterious chemical reaction that's set off when two people occupy the same physical space- the long-distance relationship is a poor excuse for the real thing. To have a long-distance relationship is to go only halfway there. It is to talk love's gooey baby talk but not walk its rocky path. It is, literally, to phone it in.

Or so they say. Consider this: the greatest sex toy ever invented may be the telephone. Sometimes there's nothing more erotic than a disembodied voice, no question more tantalizing than a whispered "What are you wearing?" especially when you can make up the answer. On the phone your hair always looks great, your legs are always shaved, your worst pair of underwear becomes a silk negligee. Your lover, too, reaps the benefits of being a single dimension. He's a mere outline of a person, and you can fill in the details as you please. He's not wearing an ugly shirt. You can't see his latest skin blemish. He's not working late and missing dinner. He's yours and yours alone. In your own mind, anyway.

To believe in the fidelity of a disembodied voice, to be as smitten with someone's absence as you are with his presence, is to be a true romantic. It is to live for the future. It is to believe in the impossible, or at least the improbable. It is to hold out hope that something's going to change someday, that all this impracticality will eventually give way to something radical, something brave, something involving a moving van. Until then, you wait. You make use of the time. You work, see your friends, completely redo the bathroom. You're a pillar of productivity. It's not a bad lifestyle- except for those phone bills.

Of course, people will tell you that you're kidding yourself, that you're naive, that you can't possibly know if a relationship will last unless you're in it day to day, unless you witness the entire evolution of a skin blemish and are familiar with the whole array of ugly shirts. The long-distance relationship, though the domain of dreamers, is also a haven for self-deluders, for noncommiters, for, some might say, lazy bums. It's for those who want the perks of romance- the flowers on valentine's day, the guarantee of a phone call at night- without doing the hard work of a real relationship.

But, oh, the fondness that can bloom in a heart that knows so much absence! Is there any emotion richer than longing, any moment more heartbreaking than the moment you put down the telephone receiver after a marathon call with the one you love but for whatever reason are not with? The long-distance relationship may have its limits, but for those who repudiate its merits, who chalk up the whole endeavor to immaturity or fear or laziness, are surely suffering from a woefully conventional view of relationships. Long-distance relationships have an urgency that couples in short-distance relationships can only dream of. Every second together counts. Every shared meal is savored; every kiss must be good enough to last weeks, maybe even months. Have you really lived, after all, if you haven't searched for your beloved's face at an airport gate, cursing the flight delay because you have only a weekend before you must part again? We should all be so lucky to seal in our memories the image of our lover on our doorstep, suitcase in hand, clothes wrinkled from a long trip, skin emanating a scent that we've forgotten but suddenly comes rushing back, bringing with it the recollection of the last time, which was too long ago and too brief, and ended with a tearful goodbye on this same doorstep.

In long-distance relationships, your life becomes compartmentalized: there's the life with him and the life without him, and the life without him is much, much bigger. Your friends won't know him (they may suspect you of inventing him). You'll still attend weddings without a date (meaning you'll be seated next to the groom's nerdy cousin). If you're tempted to cheat, you'll be burdened with the knowledge that you'll almost certainly get away with it. If you're afraid he'll cheat, then you probably shouldn't be in a long-distance relationship.

Because contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful; it's for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough. Yes, the long-distance relationship may be doomed. You can't go on that way forever. But as long as you do, you'll embody the twin virtues of independence and imagination. As you fall asleep alone, you'll conjure the scent of your lover's neck, the timbre of a voice over fiber optics, the ecstasy of seeing his face at the front door, which, thanks to him, is your favorite place in the whole house. After so much time apart, a suitcase itself is an aphrodisiac. The boy next door doesn't have a prayer."

Sushi Mission

(The Darjeeling Limited)
... Sept. 29 2007...
Could you come any slower?



Top 10 SD Sushi Joints (that i MUST hit up =D ):
1) Ra - Downtown
2) Kabuki- Pacific Beach (check, ate there)
3) Tadashi- La Jolla
4) Zensei- North Park
5) Onami- Mission Valley (check)
6) Seau's- Mission Valley (to this i say... are you serious?)
7) Zen 5- Pacific Beach
8) Ono- Hillcrest
9) Miso Harney- Old Town (lmao! yeah, it's real)
10)The Sushi Delis- Downtown, Hillcrest

the first day of my life

this week has just been a whirlwind of change and new experiences. i'm not going to lie and say that i am having the time of my life, because i'm not. however, it's not exactly the hell i expected it to be. i'm going to credit that fact to my friends who go here. we're going to make san diego state the place to be. most of my professors are great and interesting and the campus does have it's nice points.

my classes don't seem to be too difficult. of course, i am not counting chemistry in there. chemistry is a whole different matter. i have a feeling it is going to kick my a**. i need to garner some sort of affinity for chemistry because i already know it's going to be the hardest class i've ever taken. and, how's this for pressure - i need an A or B or i will never get into the nursing program. you only get one chance. also, it's not regular chemistry. the course is called general, organic, and biochemistry for nurses. so, what would have taken maybe three semesters is now one semester.

i can get used to this type of life. actually, it feels like i already have. i'm exhausted after the school day ends though. today and tomorrow are my easier days, with only two classes each.

i'll write more later. now, i have a psychology lecture to go to.

The "6 Lanes" of California

... 1:55 AM; awakened by the undistinguishable noise my mother was making in her sleep. I'd say it was a mixture of snoring and gurgling mouthwash in the morning. I guess that's what happens with age; you develop absurd sleeping habits.

Just recently returned from my trip to Thousand Oaks. Quite a bittersweet 48 hours of spending last minute "hang time", guy scouting, laughing/joking, and ... finally saying goodbye for now to one of the best people I know. I hope she's having the time of her life in CLU. I'd bet she is, being across the hall from extremely good-looking water polo players ;).

... which brings me to this late-night metaphor of California. I met a girl while at CLU who was originally from Chicago. Her first observation of California was this: "... Oh my god, it's beautiful here. It's crazy! Driving here is scary, you guys have like 6 lanes in your freeway! It's impossible to drive around here!"

I'd say she's quite right. Well, no we only have 4 lanes in California to be exact. Anyway, I see that as an elaborate, underlying commentary about the Californian lifestyle. For example, in Washington there are only 2-lane highways for the most part while we of course have at least 4. To an extent it represents the kind of people we are,and the unconventional, unique nature we have. I'd say San Diegans for the most part because I'm biased.

People we are= Unsatisfied. Always wanting more; wanting 4 freeway lanes.
Driven, unafraid, etc.
The 6 Lanes of California= The beautifully simple (laid back) but most complex form of living (what it takes to survive in the "6 lane freeway").

Our lives in a nutshell:


... linear but always intertwining.
"Simple but only in the most complex form."

SO LONG SWEET SUMMER

SO LONG SWEET SUMMER.
i stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays



if last summer was the summer of discovery, this summer was the summer of growing up.

this was the summer i graduated from high school and the summer before college. i wanted to make it one of the best summers i've ever had. and i succeeded.

i've made so much memories this summer. from june to august, hardly a day went by that i wasn't having the most amazing times and conversations with some of the most amazing people i know. i've had a summer of new experiences and new friends. i've let myself go a little bit, becoming more free and more open-minded. i've learned to accept myself and become a better person all around.

i've going to start san diego state tomorrow and even though i may not like and certainly would not have chosen it if things were perfect, i'm going to stay driven and passionate, even if it means spending more time on schoolwork than i'm used to and limiting social life. i'm going to prove everyone wrong and prove that one is capable of doing anything one puts their mind to.

i'm going to let go of my dreams of ucsd. i'm going to forget that i ever wanted to go there and that once upon a time, that was my college. i'm not going to let something i can't change take over my life which is why i have to let go of this dream.

i spent the last day of my summer reminiscing and in the company of a good friend, talking about life and hope and every little thing in between.

these four years are going to be difficult and stressful but i'll think about the good times to come and all the amazing experiences waiting to happen. it's time to start a new album in my soundtrack of life. and i know it's going to be the most spectacular yet.

(so long sweet slumber)
i fell into you, now you're gracefully falling away

glass menagerie/paradise lost

i have come to realize over the last 18 years of my life that san diego (SD) is my home.
but along with this realization i have come to see that i have no real "home" here.

the house that i am in is no home. i am almost never alone &privacy is not an option here.

life takes place outside these stifling walls. with friends - like my fellow SSD-ers - i get away for most of the day &come home to reprimanding &lectures.

this is typical.
but how typical is it that your parents count your underwear?

or how typical is it that your parents say that you cant take care of yourself
while it seems that you are taking care of yourself &those who you care about?

the second scenario is probably more typical or should i say more relative to you.
but you get the idea.

going back to the the big picture.
the big beautiful picture of america's finest city, san diego.



this city, this place
has clipped our wings &delayed our flight into the bigger world.

for a time uncertain it will be our glass menagerie.

until then, we are stuck in san diego.

transients

we'll make the great escape

for all those who have ever been oppressed, you know exactly how we feel.

in contrast to billions of people in more impoverished nations of the world, there are worse things in life than being stuck in beautiful san diego. many people have dreams of studying in san diego and living out their college lives in our city. 

however, there are always those like us who wish and dream for something more. for us, san diego has been good and we've had not much complains for this town in which we live in. but, we're allowed to have our own dreams, right?

ever since i was young, i've been a good student. i continued to be in high school. i had hopes of getting into the best colleges so i did rigorous college prep classes, community service, lots of activities, and even tennis. i worked so hard junior and senior year that i almost burned myself out.

and come college application times and i wasn't even allowed to apply to the schools i've been wanting since i knew about them. i wanted so much to leave and really experience college. i was ready to accept individuality and change. I WAS READY.

but, sadly, it wasn't meant to be. i'm stuck living at home and stuck in a college i never really wanted to attend in the first place. 

so, for now, i'll accept this circumstance but i'm going to experience life outside of familiarity one day. and, when i do, i know it'll all be worth it just because of how much i've sacrificed for it. 

-vladimir

in addendum, 

this blog was partly inspired by my trip to kohl's and my sad realization that i wouldn't need to go shopping for dorm room decorations.

 

Smothered in Self-Doubt

While most leave the nest to spread their wings a little and leave to another place to gain a so-called college education, I am stuck in the same nest I've been accustomed to my whole life; San Diego. It's a city I've developed a bittersweet relationship with. It's been great to me for the past 10 years, providing me with sunshine, good food, and most importantly amazing people from all walks of life. Now, it all comes down to this: I want to get out of here! Now! I want to get out now.
Simply however, I'm stuck here. Not good enough for Berkeley or UCLA, I am left to attend UCSD, left to be smothered in self-doubt... will I ever be good enough for anything else other than familiarity? The familiarity of this town and of its people? I want to explore and be tortured by all the cruelty and ugliness that the rest of the world has to offer me, but alas it is no longer possible. Not at this moment, not for a couple of years.
Nonetheless, I am glad to share this feeling of being stuck in paradise with two great friends; Elma and Vladimir. Together we are the inconquerable "Eljemir". We are blog warriors, here to blog the brains out of everything SD has to offer.